“Mike, going back in the service is probably the best thing you could do right now,” a former brother-in-law said to me. The year was 1982, and the American economy was in the tank–again. Another recession. The current economy, however, makes the 1982 recession look like a hiccup on the financial spectrum.
For the first three months of ’82 I continued working at an independent auto repair shop in Marion, Illinois. I was working 50-50 commission and business was down. I was barely making enough money to keep the bills paid. In the meantime, my wife lost her bank job. At that point I hadn’t officially enlisted a second time in the Air Force. As I’ve written before, I wasn’t 100 percent sure that’s what I should do.
My insomnia continued wreaking havoc in my life. Some nights I would sit on the living room couch in one spot the whole night and, as usual, face the next day as a zombie. By then I’d already had two years of experience as an insomniac. But regardless of the length of time with insomnia, a zombie is still a zombie. The detrimental effects of insomnia are as severe after two years as they are after the first night, if not more so because of its compounding effect.
The downturn in the economy, my wife losing her job, and me working straight commission pretty much told me that the military was the best option. Now, at age 56, I can look back over my life and realize that most of the time I’ve taken the easy way out of the problems I’ve faced. Going back enlisted was easier than attending college for two more years, taking ROTC courses, and becoming an officer.
As I wrote about here, in 1978 I tested for promotion to staff sergeant (E-5, four stripes) and had been selected with a promotion number of 10,509. I would have been promoted on July 1, 1979. However, I chose to leave the Air Force on May 21, 1979, at the end of my four-year enlistment, which canceled my promotion. I missed being a staff sergeant by five weeks.
Being discharged before my promotion date in 1979 meant that I was going to have to enlist in 1982 as a sergeant (E-4, three stripes) and then test again for promotion to staff sergeant after I’d served the minimum amount of time as a sergeant.
In my second enlistment, I served as a sergeant under staff sergeants who were either in basic training or had just one or two stripes when I had my first number for promotion to staff sergeant. I swallowed a lot of pride.
I tested again in November of 1982, was selected for promotion a second time, and finally put on my staff stripe on July 1, 1983, exactly four years to the day after I would have put it on originally. It was nice to be promoted, but it wasn’t the same as it would have been four years earlier. I wore it for three months and left the military again after only eighteen months into my second hitch. But that’s another story I’ll cover in future posts.
Still not knowing that going back in the service was the right thing to do, on April 4, 1982, I did it anyway: I signed my contract with the Federal Government, raised my right hand, and swore an oath of allegiance to fight for the my country, even to death if need be. I was really hoping my insomnia would go away after enlisting the second time. After all, the recession would no longer affect me, my wife wouldn’t have to work, and I would no longer be working on commission. How naive I was! Insomnia that severe doesn’t go away overnight. In fact, it became worse after my return to active duty.
I enlisted on April 4 but couldn’t report to tech school before April 27, so I went on three weeks’ leave immediately. That three-week period was misery. It left me with too much time to consider whether or not I’d made the right decision. And, worst of all, my insomnia didn’t let up.
Also, in the back of my mind was the fact that I was going to wear three stripes instead of the two gold bars I would have if I’d graduated from college and been commissioned a second lieutenant. It’s said in the military that second lieutenants get no respect from anyone–enlisted or officer.
But those gold bars would have earned me more respect, not to mention more income, than three stripes did. My decision to take the enlisted route back to active duty rather than the commissioned-officer route has bothered me to this day. It’s another one of the many wrong decisions I’ve made in life.
When I re-entered active duty, my insomnia was going strong. It’s an underlying theme that ties together all the many aspects of my life, military and civilian. Other than my thirty-six-year marriage, it’s about the only thing that has been consistent in my adult life. I wonder nearly every day what my life would have been like if I’d never developed this dreadful condition.
I will never know.
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